damned pee sticks
by bellacitron
Summary: strang thngs happen when bela tells edward she's late FOUR MONTHS. edward's reaction is not exactly what she was expecting. for isabellamariecullen3214's chalenge. oh yeah. damn strait.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

**Chapter one**

**THE CHALENGE**

This is my response to the challenge of IsabellaMarieCullen3214. Cool right? So here are the rules, tell me if I made a mistake.

"_Don't be afraid," I murmured, "we belong together." _

_I was abruptly overwhelmed by the truth of my own words. This moment, so perfect, so right, there was no way to doubt it, it felt like every nerve ending was a live wire._

"_Forever," he agreed._

_Challenge _

_So, are they talking about the changing? The wedding? The sex? Furthermore… is it even Edward? _

_C'mon ! It could be mike of Jacob or someone else entirely._

_There's only one rule- whatever you write must have this quote._

Okay boys and girls, presented with this LOVELY opportunity, I give you my story.

XD bellacitron


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

**Chapter two**

**Fifteen minuets of hell and a half**

_Fifteen minuets…_

I took in great gasping breaths, trying but failing to steady my racing pulse.

_Fifteen minuets…_

The tears budding behind my closed eyelids seeped through my grasp and fell on Edward's skeleton zip hoodie. By now I was well used to Alice's retail therapy ministrations, but you just can't buy that fresh boyfriend smell.

_Fifteen minuets…_

I could feel the stickiness of the gas station toilet seat through my jeans. _How often do they clean these places?_ I wondered absentmindedly, _I should call the health department on these fools! Who knows what's crawling around on this floor? _Well, that's what you get from hanging around Alice so much; becoming a high maintenance priss AN sorry Alice lovers, Bella's having a hard time.

_Fifteen minuets…_

I hoped to god Edward didn't decide that he was missing me too much and pop in to visit. I pictured him walking into the women's bathroom at the gas n' go snack bar and sushi hut. My effort to suppress my giggles was weak.

My imagination carried me to that place in my subconscious boiled all the troubled thoughts in my head to one scene.

This is a dream of Bella's

I was sitting on the toilet at the gas n' go, facing the door. Which just so happened to be enormous and deep magenta. Edward walked in the same outfit I saw him last in, a black and white striped hoodie with jeans and skater shoes. For some reason he was covered head to toe in blood. It looked so…delicious. He smiled when he saw me. His eyes danced as he picked me up and twirled me in his arms. He bent his head to my ear and whispered to me.

"Bella? What ARE you dong?" he asked, his velvet voice indignant and his brow furrowed.

"Hiding? Oh, I don't know Edward! I'm so scared." I said.

Edward turned around and sat on the toilet, which was now a stack of kiddy pools. He kissed me on the forehead and chuckled with his signature tilted grin plastered on his face.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. Oh Bella, what am I going to do with you? Love, come home. Everything will be alright when we see each other, when we are together we are safe and complete. Plus chetos are supremely yummy." He said tousling his copper hair.

He had a point, chetos ARE luscious.

"You are completely right darling, chetos are completely fabulous, and we'll pick some up on the way home." I announced, stupid grin on my face.

"That's my girl!" He said, shaking his head.

He grinned again and leaned towards me, we were only millimeters away when…

_Alright already we're all alright! Even if it gets heavy we'll all float ohohohohohn!_

With a jolt I jumped from the toilet seat and fell on my knees into a puddle of grime. I searched for the source of my rude awakening and found my cell phone belting out the same line every thirty seconds or so.

I got up and walked to the sink. A row of what I like refer to in the safety and comfort of my mind as 'pee sticks' sat on the counter, awaiting inspection. There was only three but they made up my soon to be future or my present idiocy.

I picked up the first one and checked it. There was one yellow line n the center of the miniature screen. Negative. I smiled and silently praised my good luck and hoped it would last. I picked up the box and unceremoniously threw the test in.

The second one was very hard to pick up. It was as if some sort of gravitational pull kept yanking it back to the counter. I finally picked it up and stared at the center. Two lines crossed in the center to make a cross that only meant one thing – positive.

I eyed the third one nervously and contemplated the outcome if it were positive. What would they say, Jessica and Lauren, mike and Charlie? What about Edward, and _Jacob_? What would Jacob think of me then? Flustered, I picked it up and glanced at it. Positive. I, Isabella Marie Swan, am pregnant, with a baby.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Hey kitties!! Guess who? Its you're friendly neborhood shiznit bellacitron. Thanks to all my darling readers and reviewers. I adore you. With my adoring muscles, I also smile at you with my smiling muscles. I just wanted to say if you have any problems, queries or concerns, consault me after class- oh, uh, I erm… I mean REVIEW! Hearts and hugs kitties._

_Disclaimer – well darlings, I don't own twilight or the characters, and I'd like to think I own this plot, but hell…we're still waiting on the fourth soo… if you recognize it it's not mine, if you don't hmmm… like the Hugh Heffner comments then they belong to me and myself and I._

_XD. my smiley face has a mole!_

_Ps earlier the ring tone I used as Bella's timer is credited to _modest mouse _its called float on, pretty good, check it out. _

**Chapter 3**

**THE POSIBILITY OF IMPOSIBILITYS**

HOW is this possible? HOW can I have a baby? THAT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE!

I wracked my brains. I had NEVER _been _with ANYBODY except for Edward EVER. Not in Phoenix, not in forks. Never. There was only one possible father. Plus I am one hundred and sixty seven percent sure I've never taken lunesta.

I picked up my messenger bag and unceremoniously thrust the tests into the box. I shoved the box into the bag and left the bathroom and a mess of toilet paper and test wrappers scattered on the grimy blue tiled floor.

I raced to my trustworthy hunk of scrap metal and started the engine. The familiar groaning and grunting of the machinery calmed me a bit.

_I need to get out of here_, I thought drastically.

My heart raced with the speedometer as I pushed fifty on the main road. _Where to go? Where to go?_ The mall! I just realized I was thirsty and they have milkshakes! Milk shakes are to me as young blond skuzzy ho-bags are to Hugh Heffner.

I swerved into the parking lot just in time. I nearly collided with a frumpy old woman who was chewing nonchalantly on her dentures. And _of coarse_ the old fart had a few _choice_ words for me and 'those damned teenaged imps'. Old bat. Just to piss her off I stared at her with a dazed look like I was young and stupid and had no idea what was going on in the world, let alone the street. I grimaced and held my churning stomach, completely forgetting about the old woman.

_I need a bathroom NOW_, I thought turning off the engine and swinging my legs out of the truck so fast I fell on the floor. This is in the mall parking lot Too late. I lay on the floor retching and bitterly greeting my breakfast for the second time today, only it was not as nice as this morning. Tears streamed down my face, burning trails threw my face powder. I pressed my head against the cool cement, letting the cold rain wash over me and clean the mess I had made. _If only it would work with the _other_ situation_, I thought sullenly_, if only_. I laid there for what must have been half an hour before I realized something.

I have to get out of the rain, I could get sick. If I got sick then the baby got sick too. It was only four months old! It could _die_ because of my stupidity, my recklessness. I got up slowly and hopelessly made my way to the mall.

I walked through Macy's in a daze, ignoring the pointed stares and mutters. I looked down at myself. I was soaked through. When I got in the car earlier I had taken my jacket off because the car was stuffy. My plain old wit t-shirt soaked all the way through to reveal my lacey pink bra. Oh joy.

I walked to a store and picked out a hoodie that was on sale. What was twenty dollars to shield myself from pervs? Feeling a bit better I walked over to the food court, noticing I was starving. I ran my hand threw my hair, surveying my choices, which goes without saying- not much. I walked up to IN UR FACE DAWG the new hotdog on a stick spin-off that advertised itself as '_the cooliest hot dog place in town dawg. Damn strait'. _Not that_ that _was helping their business. At all. I bought a large tea _Breath Bella, remember coffee, bad alcohol baaddd. Caffeine baaddd _I reminded myself sadly, coffee was my one addiction. _I am totally and royally fucked_, I thought cynically.and a Ginormo Dawg with extra everything, including canned sardines.

I sat down and people watched. A girl who was about thirteen wearing hooker shorts and an extremely low cut black shirt with entirely too much make up was making out with a boy who looked about four years her senior. Apparently the fool was 'mackin' out' as his hand was steadily traveling up her shirt. What a skuzzy asshole. Doesn't she know he only wants one thing from her? God. How depressing.

Near the garbage can a haggard looking woman looked to the point of braking. She sighed dejectedly and moved her baby to her other hip. She looked like the thirteen year old would probably in about three or four years. Did babies do that? Did they fun you ragged until you broke? I saw a drop of wetness on my shirt and realized was crying. I pulled the sleeve of my brand spanking new sweatshirt and wiped the tears from my eyes.

_It wouldn't be like that_, I assured myself, _I have Edward_.

I got up and tossed the desiccated remains of my hot dog into the bin with my finished tea. Walking out of the mall, practicing what I was going to say to Edward… gosh, he is so beautiful. How could he like _me_ of all people? My thoughts drifted from my speech to Edward, his voice, his smell, his totally hot bod ha-ha! …

I threw my clothes to the tiled floor and turned on the shower in Edward's room, for once using his shampoo. I was trying to re create his smell.

Once I was out of the shower I trotted to the laundry room and went to Edward's green basket marked _to be washed_. I pulled out a pair of black boxers and a black t-shirt. I threw off the towel and pulled the boxers over my panties. I laughed out loud, almost crying it was so funny. _Panties_ is a vile word. Still giggling I shrugged on Edward's black shirt.

I walked slowly up the stairs to our bed. Where it all went down which is to say practically nothing, omitting that night four months ago. I stopped only to pull out Edward's skeleton sweatshirt that I had rescued from the car earlier.

Snuggling deep in the covers that embraced me like the warm bosom of a caring mother I breathed in deeply. Edward's scent clung to the sheets like thousands of grains of sands. I felt safe, as if nothing could ever dare to touch me. My thoughts muddled as I fell away to a dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

_Hey kitties. It be me. Yo pimpin' Favorite writer. Just kiiiiiiidding. I hope you like it if you have any questions or need some help with plot confusion pm me or REVIEW. So …yeah. _

_Ps. I only own the things that are not Stephanie Meyer's_

_I now present you…_

**Chapter four**

**Angry Red Eyes**

A pair of cold stone arms wrapped themselves around my waist, entwining their fingers in my long brown hair, tickling my scalp. Of their own accord they crushed me against a granite chest. Well, now _that_ woke me up. Unwilling to surrender my hold on sleep I grunted scrunching myself in a tight ball. A pair of cold lips met my closed eyes in turn, opening them like a key to cupboard.

"Hey kitty Kat, what are you doing in bed? Its only eight o clock, the sun just set. It was so beautiful… it reminded me of you. Are you sick? I can get you a doctor." He said, pulling out his cell phone and starting to dial.

"Nope, I'm good. I'm just really sleepy though. Don't worry," I said, rubbing off a smudge of dirt off his face, I tried to change he subject "Did you bag me a mountain lion?"

"Nah, I'll bring you one next time. What's up with you? Are you sure you're okay? I can get Carslile," he said, looking more than a tad worried. He made to get up but I gently pulled him back to the bed.

"Well, actually Edward, I do have to tell you something, something important," I said crushing my head to his chest.

"What is it, love? You can tell me," he whispered anxious.

"I … I…I'm …" my voice was a hoarse whisper, "I'm pregnant."

His smile melted into a grim mask of horror and shock, even disgust.

"How…how could…" he asked, looking thunderstruck. It's not really what I had expected. Maybe something the lines of jubilation, laughter, and just plain _happiness_, but definitely not _horror_.

"I guess it's our little miracle. I never thought that I would have children, especially after I met you..." I paused, looking at Edward's expression, not comprehending the look of anger, shame I found there

"_I. MENT. HOW. COULD. YOU. CHEAT. ON. ME?!_" he forced through his clenched teeth. He got out of bed and ran as far away from as the room permitted before I could blink.

I was utterly confounded.

"Edward! What are you talking about?" realization dawned on me, "I never… I could never…_cheat_ on you!"

"Who is it Bella?" he said, his voice steadily rising.

"Was it Mike?! Or Erik?!" he was screaming now, rage plain on his face, but I knew it was going to get worse.

Black fury gripped my heart like an iron vice.

"HOW can you possibly think that? What kind of a WHORE do you think I am?" I bellowed in retort.

"I. Don't. Know. _Bella_." He whispered icily, saying my name like a curse, "you tell me."

"What the fuck!" I screamed in frustration. I did not deserve this, this turmoil. This is not what I imagined.

"How could you do this to me?" his voices a whisper I could barely hear, pain clear on his features.

"I did nothing." I said, matching his whisper.

I felt a cold wind pass me by. He was gone. I herd Alice's little yellow car roar to life and gun down the road, a few seconds later the Mercedes hum to life and thunder after it.

"FUCK!" I screamed, throwing the bedside lamp into the darkness of the room.

The accompanying shatter of the enormous windowpane that covered the entire west side of the room was enough to quench my anger and let the pain wash over me.

At the sound of exaggerated footsteps I dove into the closet and locked the door, sliding down the wall till I was sitting with my arms holding my legs to my chest. The room smelled like Edward. I shifted in the darkness and let the tears cascade down my cheeks. Old memories of abandonment washed over me. I was sure he was going to leave me.

A soft knock on the door brought me back to the house. Everybody could hear me. By now jasper was probably in the bathroom trying to cut his wrists. Everybody knew I was expecting. Everybody heard Edward and me fighting. What with vampire hearing they probably even herd the whispers.

Another knock brought me back to the land of the living. I just looked at the door as if it had wronged me.

"Bella? It's Alice, are you okay?" she asked concernedly.

"No. I'm not _okay_," I said vehemently.

"Bella, what are you doing?" she asked carefully, sounding like the Edward of my dream. The tears were coming thick and fast now. Oh how I wish it had ended up like that, like a pretty ribbon tied in a bow instead of the ratty mess it was.

"What are you doing Bella?" she asked again, voice muffled by the door.

"Well Alice, I should think anybody could see that I' m hiding in Edwards fucking closet," my soul clenched when I said his name. If possible the tears came faster and thicker and hotter. My throat burned. Edward's jacket was saturated with my tears.

My soul felt as if someone had torn it to a thousand bite size pieces only to slow roast over an open flame and ground and boil it like coffee. That's how I felt. Coffee grounds.

I suppressed a sob. The jacket was soaked through. I had no idea a human being could produce so many tears, but then again, I've never bean pregnant before. The floor boards creaked. Alice sniffed once, twice, three times. She inhaled deeply as if catching her favorite scent in the mass of smells that is the perfume department at sak's.

I pulled open the door to look at her. Her eyes were vacant kohl orbs. She licked her lips. As if pulling herself from the grasp of a handsome man whom she did not wish to depart from, Alice's focused her eyes. She gasped aloud and stared at my face.

"Bella! Dear god Bella, did you cut yourself? Oh my god! Carslile! HELLLLPPPPPP!" She said, picking me up and running down the stairs with me in her arms.

Carslile ran through the front door, but not before I caught a glimpse of myself in the ornate mirror that hung in the entry way.

I was covered in blood. Edward's hoodie was black with it, the once pristine white bones splattered. All of the blood was coming from one place. My eyes. Trails of blood marred my pail cheeks. Even more disturbing were my eyes. The whites were clouded with blood. But my irises, they were burgundy.

_HA! I caught you there! I bet you sixty four imaginary cookies you weren't thinking that was going to happen. Sixty four imaginary cookies to ME! Bet the title threw you off. Whoa. That was mean. Sorry, one hundred imaginary cookies to you all. _


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

_This is NOT, I repeat NOT the end._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing_

_I practically own nothing here darlings._

_I suggested you use thine divine fingers and magical keyboards to REVIEW._

_Xo bellacitron_

**Chapter five **

**Tears for fears**

I let Carslile set me on the table. I stared strait in front of me. I didn't talk. I didn't move. Alice, Esme, and Carslile were talking but I didn't listen. Rosalie was standing in the corner, silently watching me but I did nothing.

My heart was broken. The only thing I could do was cry. Of course this was expected after what _he_ had done. If this is what life is, I want out.

**Carslile** POV the only other pov that is not Bella's

It was so sad. Bella just lay there, dead to the world, not moving, not talking and crying. Her tears were the most extraordinary thing I've ever seen. It's as if her heart break was killing her, as if she was willing herself to die. Nothing I've tried works. It's like she's in a coma.

I heard the boys coming back. They were about three minuets away. I turned away from Esme who was cleaning the blood off Bella's face and walked to the driveway. As I walked out the front door the two cars pulled up. Jasper and Emmit were driving; I couldn't see Edward any where. Emmit quickly got out of the 911 and opened the back door.

Edward was lying in the back seat. Not moving, not talking, staring strait ahead of him with glazed eyes. He was crying. Rivulets of blood cascaded down his cheeks, down his neck and to his shirt. What used to be a white shirt this morning was black with blood.

"My god! What happened?" I asked hurriedly.

"I don't know," Emmit said, "we were chasing him in the Mercedes, and we were half way to Seattle when he started swerving. The car slowed down enough so that I could jump in and stop it before it could crash, so I did."

"He was sobbing all the way," added jasper.

"Bring him in," was all I said.

I ran into the house and carried a second metal table down to the basement where we had settled Bella what felt like hours ago. The boys carried Edward together, who was still unresponsive.

"Oh goodness! What happened?" Esme asked. Emmit filled her in on Edward's 'logic'.

The boys put Edward on the metal table that I had positioned next to Bella's. If possible the both cried harder. At this rate Bella would be dead within the hour, probably less. Edward cried harder.

_Oh god, _I thought_, he can still read our minds_. _Maybe their minds are still working normally, but their souls gave up on them and their bodies responded. Maybe if we just-_

My thoughts were interrupted by heart clenching sobs coming from jasper. I knelt down to the floor where he crouched with his head in his arms. He looked even more broken than Edward and Bella put together. His howls echoed through the house, bringing reality back.

I turned to Alice who was already walking towards him.

"Take him as far away from here as possible." I told her handing her my keys.

She nodded with a grim look in her eyes.

"Oh drama, drama," Rosalie whispered with an ironic grin on her face.

"Out," was all I said. She walked out; obviously thinking Edward would survive this. His chances were only fifty-fifty.

I walked to Bella and bent down to whisper in her ear.

"Bella, think about you're baby, we'll be there for you no matter what," I said shooting in the dark.

It was the worse thing I could have said. She resolutely closed her eyes on the world, maybe for the last time. I tuned to Edward hoping for a miracle.

"Edward. Are you just going to let her die? How could she have cheated on you? First of all what are the chances? She loves you so much! She would never do that! Second of all where would she find the time? She's with you knight and day! The only time she ever she wasn't with on of us more than an hour was yesterday. And god Edward, she's four months along! That doesn't happen in twenty four hours!

You need to get over yourself. She's dieing. She _needs_ you! Edward, get off your ass!" I whispered so fast I doubt that even Esme, Alice and Emmit heard.

I blinked and was on the floor. I looked around and saw Edward on Bella's table wiping away her tears. He was whispering apologies and promises to her.

Her tears seemed to have stopped. I dearly hoped she would be okay. I turned and ushered everybody out of the room.

I pulled out my cell phone and stated to dial.

"So guys, how does Panama sound?" I started speaking to airport personnel about six tickets.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

**Chapter six**

**Three days and three nights**

Bella's POV

Carslile's whispers seemed to affect Edward. I could hear every word as clearly as if Carslile were speaking them to me. I could hear Rosalie upstairs, doing makeup or hair or something along the lines. I could hear Alice trying to calm Jasper in the garage, telling him every thing is alright. I could hear everyone in the room breathing unnecessarily; I could practically taste their fear.

I felt wind pass me by like a breeze. Edward got on the table next to me. He picked me up. What a wonderful way to die. I'm going to die today and there is nothing anybody could do to stop it.

Edward whispered to me in my ear and I listened.

"Bella, I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm so sorry I thought you lied. I'm so sorry I thought you lied to me. I'm sorry I thought you cheated on me. I'm so sorry," he said helplessly.

I felt the others leave the room, and eventually leave the house. We were silent for what seemed like hours.

"I'm sorry I was so callus. I love you so much you don't even know. I want to live with you forever. I want to love you forever. Marry me." He said, placing a ring on my finger. I couldn't move. It felt like fire gripped my veins, as it has for two days. The fire was nothing compared to the pain when Edward left. Nothing compared to the soul wrenching pain.

All was quiet for hours and hours. Edward hadn't moved once. My heart had stopped minuets ago. I was dead.

Edward sat there, just looking at me. I could feel his gaze on my face. He knew. He knew I was dead. I could hear him breathing slowly, just looking at me.

The pain was gone. I opened my eyes to see Edward. He looked at me with an open mouth, completely shocked at my reanimation.

"Bella. I thought you were dead,"

"I am. But I'm here with you," I said leaning foreword and kissing him lightly on the lips.

"_Don't be afraid," I murmured, "we belong together." _

_I was abruptly overwhelmed by the truth of my own words. This moment, so perfect, so right, there was no way to doubt it, it felt like every nerve ending was a live wire._

"_Forever," he agreed._

"I love you darling," I said, pulling him into a hug.

"I love you too," he said, petting my stomach.

I laughed at him. The fool. He had no idea what was coming his way with this whole baby thing.


	7. Chapter 7

RECAP

**RECAP**

Hey folks. Its me, you're fearless leader or so I hope. Here's a little breakdown for those who care.

Chapter one-

The challenge and my intro.

Chapter two-

Bella goes to the gas'n go snack bar in sushi hut for about an hour to use the pee sticks. She has a dream about Edward being happy about the pregnancy. She finds out she's going to have a BABY!

Chapter three-

Bella goes to the mall and vomits in the parking lot, realizes that she ACTUALY is pregnant and eats a ginormo dawg. She goes home and sleeps.

Chapter four-

Edward thinks Bella's sick. She tells him. He gets angry and accuses her of cheating. She gets angry, throws a shoe. He leaves. She goes to the closet. She starts to change into a vampire because the baby put venom in her bloodstream to protect her because it senses her distress. She starts crying blood because she needs to die so she can be a vampire.

Chapter five-

Edward starts to cry too because he's so depressed. It's like he's been sad before but never this sad. Never sad enough to cry. Everybody leaves them alone and goes to panama.

Chapter six-

Bella dies. She wakes up a vampire. Challenge Quote.

**FIN**


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